She Has Our Hearts

On Friday, October 4, 2013, I was making final preparations for Ian and Aidan's Popsicle Party.  Usually I'm at the community college teaching on Fridays, but that day was fall break so I was home.  My dear friend, Heather, and her baby girl, Margaret Ann, were helping me out that morning as I needed to finish the popsicle sign, party favors and tablecloth.

My parents had called and wanted to pick Aidan up from preschool as they usually do on Fridays when I'm teaching.  They took him out for lunch - Aidan's choice - McDonalds, of course. 

Heather, Margaret Ann and I had just been upstairs looking at the guest room and talking about how the room might be arranged as Emma's room some day.  Heather and I were discussing how I'd been so anxious over the past few weeks - I knew we were about to meet our daughter - my heart just knew. 

My parents arrived home with Aidan.  Heather, Margaret Ann, Aidan, my mom and I were all standing in the foyer watching Aidan play with and admire Margaret Ann.

There was a perfect storm brewing.  In just a moment - with chaos in the background - everything changed.

At 12:33pm, our home phone rang.

 

 

With caller ID, I knew who was calling, but I had no idea the reason.  I answered the phone, and I heard the sweet voice of our international social worker.   "We have a referral we'd like you to review.  Can I tell you a little about her?  She's 19 months old, she lives in blah-blah province, at so-and-so orphanage, she's just been made available for adoption, her special need is 'growth delay' - she's tiny and adorable." 

 

The next 11 minutes felt like an eternity until the email arrived with all the documents and a couple photos.  To look into the face of a child and know she was the daughter God intended for our family - every moment of waiting, all the months, every heartbreak - it's all worth it.  What a difference a day makes.    



Seven weeks ago, we were introduced (on paper) to our daughter.  Her name is Emma.

 

 

As I read through the documents, I found this statement, "She is a quiet little girl, has oval face, bright eyes, and cherry lips, so pretty."  And we couldn't agree more - our gorgeous daughter.

 

We recently received some updated photos from late October when a medical mission team visited her orphanage.

 



 

We have received PA (pre-approval) from China.  We are currently in the LOA (letter of acceptance) wait which could be 1-3 months.  At this point, we hope to travel in March/April.

We are thrilled to finally be able to share this news with our family and friends.

When I was reading back through the blog post I made on October 3rd, I had no idea what the next day held for us and our adoption journey.  We will celebrate Emma's referral day for many years.  One day can change everything - October 4, 2013.

Emma may not have our eyes or smile but from the very first moment she had our hearts.

While We're Waiting (9 months)

October 30, 2013     - 9 months waiting since our LID (log in date in China)
                                 - 17 months waiting since we began our adoption process
                                 - 36 months (3 years) since we began the process of adding
                                    to our family

October has been a busy month!  Birthday parties, state fair and Halloween - oh my!  I'm not sure what happened - but it's November already!!

We celebrated Ian's 8th and Aidan's 5th birthdays with a Popsicles in the Park party on a beautiful Saturday afternoon in early October. 

The boys had asked all summer to have a lemonade stand - they are their father's sons - our little entrepreneurs.  We don't really have the appropriate amount of traffic past our house to support their business ideas - so I decided we'd have a popsicle stand for their birthday party.  Just so you know, we did NOT charge the birthday party guests for their popsicles!  Our Papa and Mimi (my dad and mom) helped construct the popsicle stand and the treat cone holders.  There were a few other craft projects I completed to make the popsicle stand complete - sewing the striped table cloth and pennant banner, designing and making the popsicle sign and cutting the paper snack cones.  If you know me even a little, you know I LOVE making projects - sewing, painting, creating - I had a great time pulling together the projects to celebrate my boys and their birthdays.

 

 

Each of our party guests left with their bellies full of popsicles and a personalized cup with a few more popsicles for their own freezer.

 

 

A family that has a popsicle stand together stays together!  Wait - that's not the saying, but you get the idea.  The boys had a blast simply playing in the park and enjoying popsicles with their friends.

 

 

A McGinnis family tradition began 7 years ago just as Ian was celebrating his 1st birthday - we visit the NC State Fair.  Brian's parents lived in Raleigh when he was very young, and some of his early childhood memories include visiting the NC State Fair with his parents.  We've visited each year since 2006 - except the year Aidan was born - who wants to travel to the fair when you are 39 weeks pregnant with a 9 lb, 5 oz baby boy?  It's our fall tradition - the boys look forward to it each year - and I mean ALL the boys look forward to it each year.

 

This year I took special note of ALL the "deep fried" items available for purchase at the fair.  Wow - no wonder there's a health crisis in America!  What do you have if you consume all the deep fried sugary treats?  Diabetes, my friend, you have diabetes!  We did not enjoy any deep fried treats. 

 

 

 



 

But we enjoyed carnival rides, animal viewing, agricultural exhibits, shows and possibly the best fireworks ever.  We had a great time - and this year did NOT result in a round of E. Coli for the family - hello 2011!

 

 

 

On Halloween Eve, we participated in our church's Trunk or Treat festivities.  Wow - there were more than 1300 people who visited our church - we hope they saw Jesus through the presentation and the kindness of our church family as they passed from car to car collecting sweet treats and a free hot dog meal on their way out.  The boys really enjoyed passing out candy to all the costumed kids.

 

 

 

For Halloween, we had superheroes in our house.  Wolverine and Ironman had their photo taken - another annual tradition - by Rick Haithcox in Dallas, NC.  As an annual fundraiser for our local Hospice, Rick takes photos of children dressed in their costumes on Halloween.  He's an amazing photographer and has a way with my children - it does NOT hurt that Rick is always hopeful that the McGinnis boys will be Star Wars characters.  We won't disappoint in 2014 - I promise!

 

 

 

While We're Waiting (8 months)

September 30, 2013 - 8 months waiting since our LID (log in date in China)
                                 - 16 months waiting since we began our adoption process
                                 - 35 months (2 years, 11 months) since we began the process of adding
                                    to our family

Like many months before this one, we have no new information to report about our adoption process.

The fall is always busy in our home!  Getting back in our school routine, fun fall activities, birthday parties (who knew we have so many friends born in October)!  As I've been preparing for some birthday festivities for two cute boys who will be 5 and 8 in just a few weeks, I'm reminded of a sweet moment I shared with Ian a year ago -  - when Ian was about to celebrate his 7th birthday last year, we had just finished up back-to-back home study visits in September, and we'd been in the paperwork phase for nearly 6 months for Emma's adoption.  Adoption had been a frequent topic in our home!  We were standing at our kitchen island working on a detail for his birthday party.  We were chatting about his school day and our conversation changed to birthdays, birthday parties and whether Chinese children had birthday parties.  I explained that I was sure Chinese children had birthday celebrations with their families, but he needed to remember that Emma didn't have a family - that she lived in an orphanage - and I was unsure if anyone remembered her birthday or celebrated her birthday.  I could see him thinking - and he continued to ask if we'd have a party for her birthdays once she was home.  Of course - I said - she'll have birthday parties just as you and Aidan do.  With bright eyes, he looked up and said, "I hope her birthday is in October like mine and Aidan's."  What a sweet blessing to know that he'd like to share his birthday month with his brother AND his sister!

Ian has a sweet heart - this summer, I found this paper in my car after church one Sunday.  In spite of the just graduated from first grade spelling, this might be the sweetest thing I've ever seen.  I can't say, but I may have had tears in my eyes when I found this sign - what a treasure.

 

October has been a month of welcoming blessings in our home.  Brian and I were engaged on October 17, 1998.  We welcomed Ian on October 21, 2005 and Aidan on October 14, 2008.  During this adoption process, I've often felt October would hold a significant date for Emma - the month she was born, the month she was conceived, the month her adoption paperwork was completed or possibly the month we match to her referral.  I have no idea what October date will link us to our daughter, but I feel we are closer than ever to seeing her for the first time - even if it's just on her referral paperwork. 

Perhaps it's because I'm a math girl - numbers mean something to me.  When I met my best friend in college 18 years ago, we thought it was pretty amazing that we shared a birthday.  A few weeks into our first semester of college we realized our immediate family members all shared birthdays.  My mom and her youngest sister shared a birthday.  My dad and her mom shared a birthday.  My sister and her middle sister shared a birthday - and her husband shares that same birthday as well.  A coincidence - we think not!!  Of course, our God knew in 1977 on a Saturday afternoon in July that two girls were born and they'd meet 18 years later.  The coincidence of sharing our birthday was the interesting beginning of 18 (and counting) years of ups and downs, joys and sorrows, celebrations and simply sharing life together. 

I'm not one to think things happen by chance so I'll continue to pray that meeting Emma is right around the corner.  We submitted our adoption agency application on our wedding anniversary.  Our dossier was logged in to China on the anniversary of our first date.  October has plenty of special dates for our family - I can't wait to see which October day we will celebrate for many years to come as a special day in Emma's life.

While We're Waiting (7 months)

August 30, 2013 - 7 months waiting since our LID (log in date in China)
                           - 15 months waiting since we began our adoption process
                           - 34 months (2 years, 10 months) since we began the process of adding
                             to our family

Waiting.Is.Hard
We appreciate all the thoughtful questions about our wait for Emma - all the concerns about our family, our journey and when she will finally be home. 

But I'm not going to lie - there are some days I wish I could just wear a sign that reads:

We do not have any new information.

We do not have a referral match.

No, we don't know how old she is.

We have no idea when we will travel.

Yes, I know you know people who have brought

their babies home in less time than we have waited.

No, we have not been made aware of any issues with our paperwork.

EVERY adoption is different, and this is our journey.

All the details will work out in God's timing.

Rest assured, you will be the FIRST to know when we know.

thank.you.very.much

 

Wow - I think I'd be tired from carrying around that sign!!  So I'll continue to graciously answer the questions our friends and family have about our adoption.  It means so much to know our Emma is being thought of and prayed for even as we wait.  



Some days are easier than others.  Our lives move along in spite of our holding pattern with Emma's adoption.

As we've waited - we've had a busy month - lots of activity in our home over the last few weeks - last summer beach vacation, big birthdays, a trip to the theater, back to school for Mom at the community college, back to school for our 2nd grader and back to school for our preschooler!

Someone celebrated a milestone birthday at our home in August - I shouldn't say, but he may be wearing the aqua polo in the photo :)

The boys enjoyed surprising Daddy at his office on his actual birthday.  Check out their shirts!

 



We took our first trip to the theater with Ian and Aidan to see "The Lion King" at the Blumenthal.  We enjoyed a nice dinner out, and the boys were dressed in their adorable seersucker bowties as they enjoyed the performance!

 

Ian's first day of Second Grade - Monday, August 26, 2013

 

 

Aidan's first day of pre-K - Tuesday, September 3, 2013

 



 

Since I'm a little behind posting the monthly update, we've been alerted that the shared referrals will be released tonight from China (Sept 9).  Our agency is also expecting referrals from "several" of their partnership orphanages to arrive over the next few weeks.  We are hopeful that Emma's referral is prepared and will soon find it's way to us.

While We're Waiting (6 months)

July 30, 2013 - 6 months waiting since our LID (log in date in China)
                      - 14 months waiting since we began our adoption process
                      - 33 months (2 years, 9 months) since we began the process of adding
                         to our family

While we have not received any midnight phone calls for our referral for Emma, we have received good news from our agency in the last month.  The CCCWA's computer system is working again after 9 weeks of no activity related to referrals being released.

On Monday, July 8, we were notified there would be shared referrals released that night.  Since my birthday was Tuesday, July 9, I thought our agency had received the memo that a midnight phone call would be the PERFECT birthday gift!  I'm sure the memo was not received as we didn't receive any calls that week.  On Friday, July 26, we received an email from our agency about the agency specific referrals that had arrived that week and were matched with waiting families - 21 referrals with 17 children already matched.  On Monday, August 5, there was another shared referral release.  We know our agency is expecting another batch of agency specific referrals soon - hopefully, those referrals will arrive in August!

We were also notified this month that the China Center for Children’s Welfare and Adoption (CCCWA) has confirmed that they have completed the review of dossiers that were registered with their office through March 2013. This means that all families who were logged in at the CCCWA through March 2013 have had their dossier paperwork reviewed.  We were logged in on January 30, 2013 - so our dossier has been translated and reviewed.  We hope this completed review will shorten our wait time for one of the early approvals once we are matched to Emma.

From some email conversations I've shared with our family coordinator, our family is in the "top 20" families waiting for a referral.  The "top 20" includes all families in the program asking for either gender, any age and any special need.  So we feel that we could receive a call at any point in the next few months.  The "matching" process is complicated and is dependent on the referrals our agency receives from China - there is never any way for our agency to know what ages, genders or needs they will see with each passing month.  We are hopeful Emma's referral will arrive soon and a special phone call will be made to our family.

While We're Waiting (5 months)

June 30, 2013 - 5 months waiting since our LID (log in date).

The most recent update from our agency reports that China's computer update from late May is still on-going.  We have been told that this computer system conversion will be a welcome update for future paperwork processes related to our adoption.  The upgrade, which began in late May, prevented the typical shared referral release the last week of May and also prevented the late June release as well.  Any agency specific lists set to be released (our agency is expecting lists from three new orphanage partnerships) have also been delayed until the upgrade is complete.  Our agency has been given no time frame as to when the system will function normally.  They noted that some approvals through the new system began to arrive in the past couple of weeks.  Hopefully this is a great sign that the new system is functioning and shared referrals and agency specific lists will begin very soon.

From our estimations, our agency has received no referrals since early May - about 2 months now.  We are hopeful the floodgates of referrals will soon be opened. 

In June, we enjoyed a trip to the beach house and visited many tourist spots in the Charleston area.  This photo was taken at Boone Hall Plantation - a beautiful hidden treasure in Charleston. 

We enjoyed several days on the beach - we had great weather!  These photos were taken during a late evening walk to see the dolphins feeding.  We have an impressive child photographer in our family.

Happy Father's Day!

Passports Ready

Just over a year ago, Ian, Aidan and I ventured out for passport photos to get (and renew) our passports for our trip to China.

 

We visited the local AAA office for our courtesy passport photos, scheduled appointments at the passport office and completed all the needed paperwork to send for our passports.

 

Here is our little comedian preparing for his photo

 

These photos turned out nicely - in spite of the photo above - I thought we might end up with Aidan and his crazy face.

So the passports all arrived in mid July last year - mine is good for 10 years and the boys' passports are good for 5 years.  One year has passed - here's hoping we travel to China to bring Emma home before Ian and Aidan's expire in 2017!  :)

Brian had a passport already - his expires in fall 2015 - tick tock!

During the time we were acquiring our passports, our best friends announced their move to Guatemala to be full time medical missionaries.  Our boys' love their girls and have fondly referred to them over the years as their "faraway" friends since they've lived at least 1.5 hours from us.  What the boys don't quite understand is just how far away their friends really are now.  I've known her for half my life and learning that they would no longer be a short drive or domestic phone call away has been difficult.  It's the unknown - are they safe, when will we see each other again, will I be able to figure out Skype so we can "see" each other, when will they meet our Emma?  I know God called them to this mission - I knew when we met 18 years ago that God had called her to medical missions - I know He'll guide and protect them.  And the good news is - we all have passports and can plan a visit to their mission field once we have Emma home.  We're planning to rack up some stamps in these passports!!

While We're Waiting ( 4 months)

We've been logged in China for four months (May 30, 2013).  And our first anniversary of being in our adoption process was May 29, 2013 (our 14th wedding anniversary).


We celebrated Mother's Day with our families on Sunday, May 12.  We were able to capture a few family photos.

Sweet Ian

 

Smirky Grin Aidan

 

 

The McGinnis Family

 



We are trying to wait patiently.  We've been in contact with our agency to be updated about our current status.  We are the 14th family for a 0-2 year old girl with minor medical needs.  We are the 6th family for a 0-4 year old girl with minor medical needs.  We have adjusted our request from a 0-12 month girl to a 0-30 month girl.  Even knowing our "place in line", we have no frame of reference for how long our wait will be for our referral.  We have been advised that we are looking at a 12 month wait from LID to referral - that means we should expect a referral around December or January - still a number of months away. 

Our agency continues to receive additional orphanage specific partnerships and their referrals.  They are expecting a number of these over the summer.  If there are lots of younger girls with minor needs, we could be matched more quickly.  We had hoped that we would travel to China in 2013 to bring Emma home - it is less likely this will happen unless we are matched during the summer.  We know the longer we wait in this stage of the process that the next phase will be shorter as our paperwork would be translated and approved.  We are very hopeful for the possibility of being matched in the late summer and that we can still bring Emma home before Christmas.

While We're Waiting (catching up again - 3 months)

It's been 3 months since our paperwork was logged in - April 30, 2012.  We spent the following weekend at Seabrook Island.  It was chilly, rainy and NOT the nice early May sit-on-the-beach weekend we had planned.  But I did snap this quick photo of the boys on the beach - before they were blown away by the tremendous wind gusts!  3 months waiting on their baby sister Emma.

As we celebrate Mother's Day 2013, we are hopeful that next Mother's Day we will celebrate with our THREE children.  My heart breaks to know that our daughter lives on the other side of the world where she's never known a mother's love.  And my heart is full because I know in the not too distant future that Emma will know the comfort of being in my arms.  We will all experience the joy her arrival will bring to our family.

While We're Waiting (catching up again - 2 months)

In my attempts to take photos each month we wait for Emma, I've failed 2 months in a row - at least no one was sick or in the hospital this month!  Our family Easter photo (taken March 31) will have to serve as a substitute. 

2 months waiting since our log in date - March 30, 2013

 



Of a series of photos, this photo was the best - I know it's sad - squinty eyes, fake smiles from ALL the boys and a daddy who would not agree to our colorful pants Easter Sunday attire!  Ian and Aidan are growing up so quickly - they look like little men in their white button down shirts, belts and colorful khakis.  They will be the BEST big brothers.

We have no new information from our adoption agency.  We are hopeful to hear some news soon.  We expect a shared list release soon - generally the last Monday night of the month, but we have not received any confirmation yet.

We've been in the adoption process for nearly 1 year now.  I must agree with so many other adoptive families - the waiting stage is the most difficult.  I hear myself frequently say to others - this process will be similar to the gestation of an elephant (approximately 2 years - so glad I was a Biology major in college - comes in handy for random trivia).  Being pregnant for 40 weeks seems like such a long time (especially during the last few weeks) - in an adoption, it feels as though we will be "paper pregnant" forever!

In the next few posts, I plan to document some of the interesting stages of the paperwork phase we completed between May and December of last year.  If you know us, it's clear there are stories to be told.  :)  We will NOT want to forget the fun moments of our journey.

While We're Waiting (catching up - 1 month)

Today (Monday, March 25, 2013) was announced last week as the next shared list release from China - later tonight our agency will be able to review the referrals and make calls to families for potential matches.  We know the probability of being matched this early in our wait is unlikely, but we are praying Emma's referral will be available tonight and we'll receive a very welcome midnight phone call. 

With weeks of sickness in our house recently, I did not have the chance to take our 1 month waiting photo of our family - so this photo will have to do!  (1 month waiting since our log in date - February 28, 2013)

Aidan spent a day admitted to the hospital a couple weeks ago following a tummy bug - dehydration earns Aidan a hospital admission every time!  When I opened his door on the peds floor of the hospital, I saw the most beautiful artwork on the wall directly across from his door. 

I sent a text to a friend asking, "Is it a coincidence that this is the artwork outside Aidan's hospital room?"  Her quick response, "Absolutely not!"

I'm in awe of the little things God places in my path on a daily/weekly basis.  What a comfort to see a panda (from China) hanging in my view when I least expected it.  How special to receive a phone call from a dear friend who has experienced her own unique journey this year - her first statement was concern for me, "you've been on my heart - how are things going with Emma?"  God's timing is perfect each and every day.

As we approach our 2 month waiting date (March 30, 2013), I'm reminded that we've been waiting for our third child for 2.5 years.  So waiting 2 months is a brief moment of this journey.  What a story we have to share with Emma - she will never wonder if she was wanted - we will travel around the world just to meet her - we already love her to China and back!

We're Official!

Well - officially logged into China! 

Our piles of paperwork left the US on Friday, January 18, 2013 - DTC (dossier to China).

 

Our box traveled from Herndon, VA (our adoption agency's office) to Memphis, TN, then on a direct flight to Beijing, China!  Our package was delivered to our agency's counterpart in Beijing on Monday, January 21, 2013 at 10:01am.

 





Then our agency's employee delivered our notarized, state authenticated, US State Department approved, Chinese Embassy stamped dossier to the CCCWA for review.

 

We were told it generally takes about 7-10 days to process the paperwork and have an official log in date (LID).  But it could take 2-6 weeks to be notified of our official date.

 

So we were surprised when we received email notification on February 6, 2013, that our LID was January 30, 2013.  Coincidentally, 15 years ago on January 30, 1998, Brian and I had our first date :)

 

And now we wait. 

 

The last Monday of each month the CCCWA releases shared list orphan referrals.  Our agency also has some orphanage specific relationships, and they receive referrals with no specific schedule.  We weren't eligible for the January shared list referrals (but there were 8 families that accepted referrals).  Yesterday, we received notification that the next shared list would be released on Monday, February 25.  And they received and matched 8 referrals from one of their orphanage relationships on Thursday.  They expect to receive more orphanage specific referrals in March (possibly 10). 

 

We've been told our wait could be anywhere from 1-12 months - probably closer to 12 months - since we requested a 0-12 month girl with minor correctable medical needs.  We are still hopeful that we will be introduced to Emma very soon and be able to travel to bring her home in 2013.