During the adoption process, through all the training, reading other blogs of adoptive parents, I've often wondered when she would feel like my daughter. There was never any question about my love for her, but when would I feel bonded to her the way I felt bonded to Ian and Aidan the moment each was placed in my arms after their birth. Would I feel like I was babysitting someone's child, would it be months before we felt comfortable together?
I'm happy to report that I felt connected to Emma the moment she was placed in my arms. I looked at her with the same awe I had with Ian and Aidan. There was never a minute that I've felt like I was just babysitting. God provided a heart connection for this mommy even though we missed out on her first two years.
Of course I was concerned about how I would feel with Emma, but another concern was how she'd feel towards us. Would she just think I was another nanny? Would she just go through the motions of our daily life and not experience our new family? We are so thankful there is so much evidence of her connection to us.
- She chooses me when she has a need - food, water, diaper change, comfort, protection, affection.
- Emma's tiny 22lb frame rests comfortably in my arms.
- She's the BEST hand holder around - her little hand fits perfectly in my hand.
- When we'd been home about a week, she began to give kisses - she grabs my face/head and kisses me - right on the lips - sometimes with her teeth touching my lips. (We will need to teach her before she's 30 and allowed to date that teeth really shouldn't be used as your primary method of kissing or the boys will think she's a vampire!)
- When she's sitting face to face on my lap, she snuggles right into my chest - her sweet little ear pressed against my chest listening to my heart beat. Her little arms and hands tucked under my arms hugging my sides. Emma's silky, black hair tickling my face as her head fits right under my chin. She absolutely understands and desires the affection of her mother.
- Many times during the day, she will run over to me and just smell me. Emma will grab my hand and just breathe me in. Sometimes she smells my clothes and other times she smells my hair. Oh be still my heart - that baby girl loves the way her mommy smells.
- As we wait in the car line for Ian and each day, she watches and squeals with excitement as soon as she catches a glimpse of one of them. She has the biggest smile on her face for the ride home.
- When Brian arrives home, his baby girl canNOT get to him fast enough. She runs right into his arms. Her daddy is home.
I'm not sure why I doubted the connection we'd feel to one another - we serve a great big God and He makes a way for everything.
Take a look at this little cutie!
Saturday Tuesday
Emotionally, expecting Emma was so different than expecting Ian and Aidan. I was excited and emotional with each pregnancy and arrival. I think adoption has been different because it's not just a story of expectation and a joyous welcome. It's a story of survival and redemption. A child who had no one and suddenly she has a mommy and daddy and brothers and family and friends that she could never imagine. I can say now that I'm so thankful God planned to complete our family with Emma joining our family through adoption because it has been just as amazing as how Ian and Aidan joined our family.
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